Rolling the dice with cancer: An artist’s journey through love, loss, and healing

Friday, 18 October, marks the debut exhibition of artist Becky Louise, hosted by Southern Cancer Care, showcasing Becky’s raw and evocative artwork, which journals her story of great love and support for her late partner, Nat, through the many challenges of cancer.

Becky and Nat, both health care professionals, had recently made the move from the coast of far north NSW to Tenterfield in regional NSW, hoping to embrace a simpler life. They envisioned a future filled with farming, new friendships, and fresh career opportunities. But within four months, their dreams were shattered by cancer.

What began as a peaceful new chapter spiralled into a journey defined by change, fear and tackling the health care service, laughter, inspirational support and all-encompassing love.

As Nat’s health declined, Becky was thrust into the roles of carer, advocate and witness to the struggle of someone she deeply cherished. Yet, throughout the most challenging moments, their profound love remained constant.

“Nat was a lighthouse for me; she was a lighthouse for many people,” Becky reflects. “She provided you with guidance, protection, joy and direction. Her big thing was encouraging independence.”

Nat’s strength and grace in the face of cancer left an enduring mark on Becky and everyone who knew her. “She was very brave, a very strong and resilient person, full of adventure, very kind and generous to anyone and everyone. She was all of that before, during and after cancer.”

“She had every reason to be angry and disappointed at the health system, at her diagnosis, at the fact that her life became very painful, but never once did she complain. Never once did she get angry. She really did accept her diagnosis with a lot of strength, and it’s very honourable to have known that she took it. It was her calling.”

Gracie, Becky and Nat

Becky recalls Nat’s remarkable outlook: “She would just say, ‘Well, whatever happens, happens.’ She was an extraordinary human being. Regardless [of the fact] that she was my happy ever after, she was just this amazing person who went with it. I can honestly say she broke down in tears only three times during that entire time.”

“The first was probably when she was told [about her diagnosis]. The second was she was telling me a story, a funny story about her mum. and she stopped and broke down and said, “I don’t want to tell you any more stories because that means I’m dying because I have to tell you all the stories before I die.” Then, the third one was when they told her that she would no longer be able to walk. That was the big one. …”

“She was very adventurous, always active, physically active. She was a hiker. She had walked the Camino [de Santiago trails] in Spain on her own. She had nursed all around the world. She had mountain biked Whistler in Canada, and she played every sport that she could possibly play. So for cancer to debilitate her, to no longer be able to walk was probably the most confronting thing for her. But again she was extremely courageous,” shared Becky.

Nat’s strength and grace shine through Becky’s art, “she was content in the delivery of each day,” explained Becky, “the vibrance of my art is her strength. And they’re colourful, and they’re happy to anyone who doesn’t know the story. But the detail, the sadness and the debilitation of her life is in the detail.”

Nat asked Becky to journal their journey, “I want you to record this journey, because I know it’s going to be complex. And I said, Yeah, okay. And she said, I want you to draw it. I want you to be able to draw what you truly see because what people think cancer is, is not what they’re seeing. And she said I know your drawings are raw, true, happy, fun, colourful, and they will be able to show my pain and your pain. So it was her. She wanted it. She wanted it to be journaled.”

Becky Louise printing her artwork for the exhibition

This exhibition, Rolling the Dice with Cancer, is not simply an artistic expression of grief but a testament to the power of love and resilience. Becky channels the overwhelming emotions accompanying Nat’s illness and eventual passing through her art. Her pieces speak to their love and friendship, fun and spirit, as well as the heartache of loss and the strength to continue.

Becky’s watercolours and sketches infuse grief, hope, despair and love. One particularly poignant piece reflects the deep isolation she felt as a carer. “I was empty. My jar was empty. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. So, the journaling refilled my jar so that I could keep going because I knew I had to keep going. There was no “I couldn’t.” I was unable to stop and have a break,” she explains. “I was unable to have those conversations with people, because, frankly, people didn’t want to have the conversations. No one wants to talk about cancer. So to me, it was, yeah, focus and refilling and failing.”

This debut exhibition, hosted by Southern Cancer Care, serves as more than just an artistic showcase – it’s an invitation for the community to come together. Through Becky’s story and her art, Southern Cancer Care aims to build resources to better support carers, who, like Becky, are thrust into unimaginable roles with little preparation, and are often left lost and broken at the end of this journey.

The evening will offer a visual journey through Becky’s art and a space for community consultation – a time to reflect on how we can better support carers, often unseen and unsung heroes in cancer care.

Tender Tenterfield and Many Hats by Becky Louise

Rolling the Dice with Cancer is not just about loss; it’s about love, resilience and hope. It’s a night to share in Becky’s story, to feel the depth of her emotions, and to join a conversation that will help shape future support for carers facing the unimaginable.

As Becky prepares for this exhibition, which coincides with her 50th birthday, she anticipates a flood of emotions. “It’ll be a full-on night.”, but maybe that’s what I need—a moment to honour Nat, to celebrate our love, and to keep the conversation going about what it really means to care for someone with cancer.”

Join us on Friday, 18 October 2024, from 6 to 9 pm at Hazelhurst Arts Centre for a night filled with art, empathy, and community. Together, through shared stories and art, we can create a stronger, more compassionate network for those navigating cancer care.

Southern Cancer Care is a not-for-profit organisation advocating and fundraising for the projects inspired by the cancer care centres within our St George and Sutherland community.

Tickets have now sold out.

Did you miss out on tickets for the “Rolling the dice with cancer” opening night? Don’t worry! The exhibition will be open to the public at Hazelhurst Arts Centre throughout this weekend during regular opening hours. We invite the whole community to visit The Cottage and explore this powerful exhibition.